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    Publisher: The Family Pants - Blog
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    Colleen Thoele writes this blog, is a child advocate, awesome wife, best mother ever, worst mother ever, greatest sister of all time and lover of sensible clothing. Why am I talking about myself in the third person? Ahem... Born and raised in Ohio, I have come to believe that Ohio is, in fact, the Heart of it All. And not just because it is positioned in the general heart area of the map. I am the baby of the family and suffered, I mean, learned at the hands of two older brothers. I love my mom and dad so that's cool. I married at 23, became a social worker at 25 and divorced at 27, floundered, got lost, drank too much and was an idiot. A fun idiot, but an idiot none the less. At 28, my doctor found cancer on my cervix and that suuuucked. But it was caught early and we knocked that shit out. And that made it possible for me to carry my future babies. The same doctor that cared for me during the cancer shiz went on to deliver both of my squirrely kids. I think that is kind of awesome. So ladies, go get a pap screening, like every year, because I said so. I spent my 30th year laying on my couch watching So You Think You Can Dance and crying so my bestie signed me up for a dating site. I was all, "No way, dude. That's creepy. I won't even look. No way. Now how!" Then all alone in my office at work I looked. One horribly uncomfortable match with a Latin fella that talked about his mom and loved Tom Hanks too much was the price I paid because the next date was Daddy Pants. I spurned his goodnight kiss on the first date because I am a lady, sheesh. But he came back and cooked me dinner on the second date so I made out with him. We got married in a lavish(gigglesnort) ceremony. I walked the aisle to a lovely acoustic rendition of Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper and we headed out to Las Vegas. Three weeks later a twinkle in my eye suddenly disappeared and started growing in my belly. At least I think that's how it happened. Anyhoo, Mr. Pants came out screaming 40 weeks later via emergency c-section. 21 months after that, Plum exploded onto the scene. And that's that. I'm 75% crunchy, 25% what the hell? We cloth diaper and co-sleep. I am a champion breastfeeder. I will always enjoy glitter, glow sticks and feathers and can sculpt your hair into a tidal wave. I have been known to have some irrational fears but whatever. And I have many many opinions about things. Like this. Or this. I'm a bit crazed at times and have an admitted flare for the dramatic. I belong to a secret cult-like organization called The Laydeez. I really dig writing, singing, choreographing dance routines and dressing my children (and yours) in striped clothing.
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